“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” — Pete Carrol
No matter how you look at it, life is hard. With so much pressure and so many obligations, it’s clear to see why we often feel overwhelmed and anxious. As the weeks, months and years pass, that pressure mounts. It piles on top of us, adding more weight to the shoulders that can’t seem to bear another ounce of it.
Yet, we carry on. We move forward, facing everything that life throws at us. As a result, we suffer. Our personal lives decline, our good habits falter and fail, and we retreat into the comforts and confines of the status quo that we’re so used to. It’s easy to allow life to pass us by when we’re so consumed by meaningless tasks and time-wasters.
That’s the reason why a good life coach is so important. We often get so ingrained and set in our ways that it’s hard to see things from a fresh perspective. It’s difficult to fathom and digest the possibilities that exist out there in the world when we’re so used to operating within what we’ve deemed “safe” for so long.
What is a Life Coach?
Life coaching is often compared to counseling, therapy, mentoring, and consulting. These practices are similar in that all of them strive to help you achieve your goals. But the difference between them is that each of them strives to help you in its own way, using its own methods.
So what is a life coach, exactly?
In one word, a life coach is a strategist.
Unlike a therapist, who is first and foremost a healer, a life coach doesn’t dwell into your past and dig deeper into your subconsciousness. A life coach is interested in three simple things – the place you’re currently at, the place you want to be at, and the best way for you to get there.
Let’ say you’ve been heartbroken. In this scenario, a therapist’s mission would be to take you down the memory lane and have you count your heartbreaks in order to discover what makes you exposed to this particular kind of emotional distress and why. This is a long way around.
A life coach, on the other hand, would simply mend you.
This is the person that will get you from point A to point B.
But this doesn’t mean that life coaching takes shortcuts. Eventually, it achieves the same thing as therapy does, but in a different way. To put it simply, life coaching is an action-oriented approach to overcoming a specific challenge or a set of obstacles on your way to fulfillment.
Most importantly, life coaching trusts you to do the right thing.
Life coaching recognizes that you are the only person in your life who knows who you really are, what you want to be, and how you need to get there. The answers are deep within you, hidden and concealed. Through guidance, a life coach can help you unveil and clarify them.
Life Coach vs Therapy
How do you choose what’s better for you? Try answering this question: do you need a healer or a strategist?
This is where you need to stop, take a deep breath, and think about the road that is in front of you. You are the only one who knows what you need. Which means you are the only one who can answer this question. It may help you to imagine the task at hand as a journey or a quest.
During this quest, who do you see helping you arrive at the journey’s end?
If you are feeling too tired, wounded, or broken to even imagine moving forward, then you need a healer. This is your impaired psyche weighing you down and keeping you paralyzed. Don’t be afraid, you’ll get better. You just need a good doctor to take a look and prescribe therapy.
But if you’re ready to take a charge and pursuit your goals, but are a bit overwhelmed, afraid, and confused about your course of action, then you need a strategist. A life coach will give you a push. Or more precisely, a life coach will guide you into becoming your own support system.
Whatever you choose, don’t make a hasty decision.
In case you’re struggling with a deeply rooted issue such as depression, a life coach would be able to fix you only to a certain extent.
Using a suitable method of psychotherapy, a therapist would help you eliminate the root problem, while a life coach would only make you more functional.
Important Signs You Really Need a Life Coach
Most of us need a life coach because we need someone to help us during our big transition in our lives. For many of my clients, life coaching is an effective way to deal with relationship issues and professional challenges.
In the majority of cases, however, life coaching boils down to navigating self-doubt, fear of failure, and low self-esteem.
Here are some signs that you really need a life coach:
1. Self-Doubt Has Been Holding You Back
Doubt is the opposite of belief. When you’re questioning who you are and what you do, you’re losing trust in yourself and what you’re capable of. Not only is it hard for you to make a decision and stick to it, but you’re also constantly overthinking, apologizing, quitting, and stepping back.
Always second-guessing yourself is exhausting.
It’s also what prevents you from living the life you want.
Or achieving anything at all, for that matter.
Your thoughts shape who you are. If you spent years thinking that you’re bad at your job and incapable of doing anything right, you’ll start living a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ll become the person you’re embarrassed by, too humiliated and weak to get up and start proving yourself wrong.
2. Your Inability to Define a Clear Vision
Have you ever achieved an important goal only to sink into a confusing, crippling depression the day after? This is known as the Olympic syndrome, as it is common among professional athletes. It’s also a recurring problem for people who live from one milestone to another without a vision.
A life’s vision is a sum of all your personal goals.
Without a clear vision, you’re facing two scenarios. You’ll either spend your life moving through motions without ever achieving anything, or you’ll spend yourself on meaningless projects that don’t really reflect who you are or bring you any satisfaction. In both cases, you’ll feel lost.
3. You’re Afraid of Failures
Fear drives so many of your worst instincts.
Self-doubt is a fear of failure. Not having a life’s vision, again, fear of failure. The most immobilizing and dangerous of all human conditions, fear would rather see you do nothing at all than do anything wrong. And, spoiler alert, that’s awfully irrational. Or in other words, unfounded.
If you’re procrastinating more often than you should, then you’ve been infected with fear too. That’s also why you’re feeling so anxious all the time and in all aspects of your life. But guess what, the fear you’re suffering from can make you or break you as a person. The choice is yours.
Overcoming fear will make you unstoppable. Succumbing to it can only make you want to stop before you go.
4. You Don’t Have a Strong Support System
Sometimes, people bail when times get tough. Sometimes, people are dismissive. Friends can leave you hanging when you need them the most. Boyfriends don’t always offer encouragement. There are moments when your family simply doesn’t follow up. Colleagues, they just don’t care.
It hurts, but it’s how things sometimes are. And that’s okay.
Having a support system is important because failures do happen. You don’t have to be a broken person to be your worst enemy – being human is quite enough. But you don’t have to count on other people to pick you up either. You don’t have to quit you when everyone else does.
5. You Have a Poor Quality of Life
Perhaps you’ve got yourself covered emotionally. Maybe you’re already a fearless goal-getter that others look up to for support. There are other things that may stand in your way to the top, things that have nothing to do with self-doubt.
Maybe you’re just messy and disorganized. Creative people often are.
Of course, you wouldn’t be reading this if you were feeling like a success on every front. Learning to add structure to your creative chaos is not at all easy, but it is necessary. Without any structure, your quality of life inevitably suffers.
That’s why you’re here reading this in the first place – you’re feeling out of sync with your full potential.
6. You Don’t Know How to Deal with Rejections
Rejection “communicates the sense to somebody that they’re not loved or not wanted, or not in some way valued”, explains Geraldine Downey, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Columbia University. Anyone who was ever rejected will agree.
Being rejected is never easy. It openly tells you that you’re not worthy enough.
Rejection actually stimulates the brain in a way similar to physical pain. That’s how much it hurts.
But consider this – J. K. Rowling’s original Harry Potter pitch was famously rejected by 12 publishers. Did that stop her from becoming one of the world’s most loved and successful ladies? No. Rejections only made her more stubborn.
7. You Have Abandonment Issues
Are abandonment issues wreaking havoc in your relationships?
Here’s how you can tell:
Gentle souls that suffer from this frustrating problem tend not to think things through. They attach too quickly and move on just as fast (if they don’t settle for an unhealthy relationship, that is). They are either partner pleasers or obsessed with finding deal-breaking flaws.
Whatever the case, abandonment issues are much more serious than your typical case of separation blues. If you don’t uproot them in time, they’ll make you sabotage every relationship in your life. And yes, being alone is perfectly fine, but only if that’s your conscious choice.
With abandonment issues, you’re not in control.
8. You’re Continuously Sabotaging Yourself
Seriously, why do you keep doing that to yourself?
Well, there are two different types of self-saboteurs – those that are afraid of failure and those that are afraid of success. When you’ve crippled your potential with self-doubt, the least you can do is stay in control over your failures by avoiding opportunities at any cost, right?
You’re thinking – what you don’t know about yourself cannot hurt you.
Perhaps trying harder will make it obvious that you’re simply not good enough. It’s safer not to study for an exam than to study and fail nevertheless. News flash: everyone’s afraid of their limits and nobody’s born limitless. But your unpushed limits will eventually crush you.
9. You Want to Develop Self-Acceptance
If so, good for you!
Self-acceptance improves emotional well-being, studies say, and it’s only natural that it does. Vice versa, low self-acceptance can scar you for life. Pushing your boundaries against all odds is one way to achieve greatness, but learning to embrace your limits first is much healthier.
That way, you’ll actually be able able to get up if you fall. In all honesty, you’ll be able to proudly say that you’ve given your best shot. You’ll be able to perceive mistakes as a learning curve. More than any other school of thought, self-acceptance is a precursor to healthy growth.
You are who you are. Your failures don’t define you.
10. You’re Ready to Change
What are some other signs that you desperately need to change the way you approach life? People who seek life coaching often feel restless and tense as well. And the way things are in the world, it’s really no wonder that we are all depressed, unmotivated, stressed, and scared.
If you’re unhappy at least once a day every day if there’s no stimulation in your life, if you’re anxious about tomorrow, and if you can’t conquer your fears no matter how hard you try, the best you can do is join the club. These are uncertain times we live in. Make you your own constant.
You should learn to rely on yourself.
And sometimes, asking for help is the most meaningful example of self-reliance.
So, are you ready to change?
Visit us at www.lifecoachingdm.org and let's start your transformation NOW!